I went shopping today

on my own & couldn't decide between two dresses, so I drew sketches for an objective pov. Hahaha, I'm ridiculous. I still haven't decided--they're on hold :)

Raphael Saadiq

I'm going to start a drawing series of musical artist(s) I'm listening to. Soooo... today I present you with the soulful, always sharply dressed, Oakland native: Mr. Raphael Saadiq. I've been listening to a lot of Tony! Toni! Tone! and interviews/podcasts with Raphael Saadiq... just captures the groove I'm in. I learned from one of the interviews that he bought his first acoustic guitar at the age of 5 from the SAN JOSE flea market.... yeaaaah! The same one I frequented as a kid to buy pogs! Hahaha. Pretty sweet. I have such a crush on him.

Learning While You Dream

Totally feelin' this nyt article. Cue excerpt:

“It’s almost as if your brain is rummaging through everything that happened today and deciding that you’re not done with it,” Dr. Stickgold said. “The things that really grip you, the ones you decide at an emotional level are really important, those are the ones you dream about. The things you’re obsessed with are the ones that your brain forces you to continue to process.”

It's such a romantic idea... that as your body rests, your mind stays active to help heal whatever gaping heart-wounds or burdening, unresolved issues you have before bed. I tend to have very vivid dreams that work to prepare, inform or explore whatever obstacles I'm facing in the spiritual, business & love/relationship aspects of my life.

For example, last night was somewhat emotionally traumatizing, and perhaps as a result, I dreamt that I was on the phone with my sister as I walked on the sand. Then, I noticed that the beach was covered with green snakes. I skipped around trying to avoid them, scared that they'd bite me. I eventually climbed up a ladder to avoid them, and watched the sun rise or set.

Now, according to my favorite dream website:

To see a snake or be bitten by one in your dream, signifies hidden fears and worries that are threatening you. Your dream may be alerting you to something in your waking life that you are not aware of or that has not yet surfaced. Alternatively, the snake may be seen as phallic and thus symbolize temptation, dangerous and forbidden sexuality. If you are afraid of the snake, then it signifies your fears of sex, intimacy or commitment. The snake may also refer to a person around you who is callous, ruthless, and can't be trusted.

To see sand in your dream, signifies a shift in perspective or a change in your attitude.

To dream that you are climbing up a ladder, suggests that you have reached a new level of achievement. It is symbolic of prosperity, hard work and your efforts. Consider also the phrase of "climbing the social ladder" in which you have achieved a promotion, a higher status, more power, or an important goal. Alternatively, it may indicate meditation and prayer. You are setting forth on a spiritual path and higher awareness. Each rung of the ladder is indicative of a stage in your spiritual awareness. You may also be looking things from a different perspective.

To see the sun in your dream, symbolizes peace of mind, enlightenment, tranquility, fortune, goodwill, and insight. It also represents radiant energy and divine power. It is a good omen to have the sun shining in your dream.

Uhhh.... YES. Hahahha. I agree! Definitely positively shifting my ideas/perspective because of a "snake." Anyway, I'm a firm believer in the power of dreams, and listening to the cryptic messages they're trying to tell you. It's just your brain trying to help a brotha out.

Slowly building my Renegade army

22 squeezies & counting!

First Journal Entry in the PI

So I was looking through my google docs because I hadn't opened that ish in a while and I found many forgotten treasures, including my first journal entry in the Philippines, dated October 22 2009:

This is all natural. I feel incredibly homesick. Let’s just be honest and sit with the emotions.

I feel sad. I miss my home, I miss comfort. I miss feeling healthy. I thought I was strong enough to feel at home anywhere, but this is a true test. I know that I will make do and make a home eventually, but this is pushing it to the next level of adaptability. I miss my friends and I miss New York… down to the friends, the traffic, the jaywalking, the expensive mediocre food. I miss the wall Rich & I painted together. I miss the L train, I miss the Bronx and how far it is from everything. I miss how noisy Fordham road is. I miss my yoga studio and the teachers and the sauna. I miss having steady internet everywhere and anywhere. I miss 3^rd ward and how dark and dreary it is. I miss walking carefully on Rich’s bed to not upset the crates. I miss Sandeep and her pressure cooker. I miss Trader Joe’s and the chaos inside it, all to buy cheap beer. I miss going to lunch with David. I miss exploring the city and feeling safe. I miss exploring the city and still knowing where I am. I miss Pandora and hulu and netflix instant watch. I want to watch the wire with rich, curled up and covering my eyes. I want to drink the delicious water of nyc without thinking twice. I want to sit in a subway and sew amongst familiar strangers.

Now, for the remedy the remedy…

Yoga will bring me balance and groundedness. I must do it when I wake up and before I go to bed. Let my heart lead the practice.

Develop a routine or make a to do list everyday, like before. Make a home of here.

If you feel sad, embrace and hold the emotions, then let them go. You’re ok. Nothing you are doing is wrong or bad.

Continue to be open & honest with Rich, and continue to communicate with trust.

Adopt the mindset of a learner, not an observer. Be a sponge and absorb the world around you.

Create a goals list for the PI & Asia and continue to work towards those goals

Eat healthily

Be adaptable, while remembering why you came here in the first place

Complete the goals you set before leaving for the states

...I forgot to add something so important to the list… I have to be present. Of course I’m going to feel sad wishing I was elsewhere, but if I look around, and really look and absorb, I will see the amazing act I did, and am proud of.

I guess I feel comfortable sharing because I was able to work through it all in my 7 months here. I think what I'm most proud of is that "the remedy" turned out to be THE remedy. I knew myself better than I thought. So that last point about completing all goals before heading back to the US... consider it done :)

The most Pinoy day ever!

Today I said goodbye to the province. I ventured with my aunt and her two law school friends to Tarlac to enjoy delicious food at our restaurant & say see you later to my lola.

First we were fed:

basil, yogurt & pineapple smoothie, green mango & malunggay pesto pizza

okoi & papaya vinegar

tamarind-lemongrass baked chicken

homemade dried mango

After the 3 hour lunch, we chatted about CNN, Anderson Cooper (my aunt's friends are obsessed with him haha), Glee, life in Japan & the upcoming election. Lots of chismis & laughing :)

I drew this as I digested:

Based on the sights I saw in Quiapo yesterday: kiddies playing pogs on the streets, karaoke in the hawker stands, a little toddler playing with a cockroach (disturrrrbing!!)

Fresh lettuce! It was sooo delicious :)

My aunt is tickling my lola, hahahaha. It was so funny!

Awwww bye bye lola! I'll see you in 2012 if not sooner.

On our way back to Makati/Quezon City, we stopped by the Aquino Museum. Wow. Not only was it incredibly thorough and informative, but quite moving. They actually had the clothes Ninoy was assassinated in, blood stained & all. I urge every filipino to go to really understand the country's history.

The grand entrance.

Cory's infamous dress! So pretty & simple :)

Vote Noynoy!

Reality's hitting me. I'm leaving soon. Eeep!

Oh brother! What a day!

Sorry, no art to post because I've been running around all of Manila trying to get ish done. I got my teeth cleaned (and a filling!) for 20 bucks, and spent 7 bucks on various things like a fruit smoothie, orange chicken (yum!), 5 dvds, a pillow for its stuffing, headphones (to make my stuffed headphones workable!), and public transportation. I'm gonna miss the Philippines and how cheap it is.

I did see sooo many interesting sights that made me feel the love for the dirt, slums and smelliness of the city. I found myself totally unbothered by the trash and mystery water I walked through on the sidewalk & spoke tagalog rather confidently all day as I made my way around Quiapo & metro Manila. It made me realize how I've become accustomed to living here, and how I'm more tolerance for, um, non-US quality of living, haha. Awesome!

I'll sketch a couple of the sights from memory and post later, which will include two kids intensely playing pogs (YEAAAAH!!).